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Weight Gain

I’ve gained weight. Well, I think I’ve gained weight. I’m still scale-free, so I don’t really know, but I can feel it… just a little thicker, a little bit uncomfortable. This is a problem.

Not the (supposed) weight-gain, per se, but the fact that I am scrutinizing my body and thinking I’ve gained weight–and taking my measurements and pinching rolls of fat. Um, NO. I don’t want to live like this. I gave up the scale to try and find a better relationship with eating and my body.

Of course, there was a moment (month?) of poor eating. I was no longer cleanse-ing. School was out, so I lost my routine. I definitely indulged a bit too much. In between indulgences, I was frantically packing, donating, cleaning, moving. I have moved my stuff out of my apartment in shifts. (I am getting the boot on June 30th.) One day, I cleaned out closets, hauled my stuff down a few flights of stairs and into my car for a trip to Goodwill. Another day, my brother and his roommate came to take my furniture for their new house. So, there was more packing, hauling, preparing, wrapping. In the middle of this, my apartment is in shambles and the two dying window units are gasping and wheezing slight whisps of coolness into the humid air. My brother nabbed my fan on his way out, so my workouts turned into sweaty messes as I tripped over boxes in between jabs and narrowly avoiding a stray roll of packing tape as I lunged across the room. I stopped working out as consistently.

I volunteered at the last minute for a school trip after another chaperone dropped out. Yes, this is the same school that I just resigned from, but I love the kids, and I had been on this service trip before. We spent a week in Avery County, North Carolina. Despite the twenty-hour round trip (huge van, leather seats, no air conditioning), I loved the week. I ran every morning with some members of the XC team, got in a trip to the Y, took walks, and spent entire days raking rocks and brambles off of steep Appalachian hill sides. Of course, for most of the week, the closest thing to a vegetable I could find was the tomato sauce in pizza. I probably ate too much like a high school boy, and it was difficult to kick the habit when I got home, especially with the constant packing, rising temperatures, and lack of a routine.

Meanwhile, my velocitized boyfriend lost 12 lbs in a month. I could feel my waistline expanding as his was contracting, and though I am so proud of his hard work (and think he looks hot), it made me insecure. I felt like I had no discipline. I could feel my thighs rubbing together where they hadn’t in the past.

I started reading all my diet books. I went back on the cleanse for about a day. I picked up a new book and decided to try that. It was scheme scheme scheme.

I came home from spending the weekend with my boyfriend. We ate out. I indulged more than he did. (Weak weak weak, guilt guilt guilt) I took my dad out for a belated father’s day and had pancakes for the first time in forever (chocolate chocolate chip-I don’t regret it).

I came home and stared at myself in the mirror. I could see the fat. I must have gained ten pounds. Why am I thinking about weight if I’m trying to spare myself from that kind of thinking and abuse?

I decided to work out. I popped in a new workout dvd. (I make good investments when I’m preparing to leave the country.) I was rocking it. We got to abs. I couldn’t keep up. I burst out crying. I have lost all my fitness and gained a million pounds.

And then I decided, no. This is not the way it’s going to be.

I decided to Nip It In The Bud.

I might call it NIITB for short. It sounds like a boy band.

As of last night (and this morning and tomorrow and every day of my life), I have two choices.

1–I just resign myself. I eat what I want. I beat myself up. I make myself crazy. I make the people around me crazy. I don’t feel good.

2–Do something about it. Do it my way.

I have chosen option 2. I am going to do something about it. I got up this morning and went for a 40-minute run. I prepped a green monster for breakfast along with two hardboiled eggs and a slice of German bread. I had some nuts and about 7 peanut M&Ms to tide myself over. I made my way to Panera for lunch and enjoyed a salad with a 1/2 sandwich and an apple. I am currently sipping a soy latte and will meet some former students for dinner soon. I’m thinking salad. I’m craving salad.

And that’s how it is. I am going to find my own path. I am going to work out because I love it and I am going to eat in a way that makes sense for me. I am going to aim for clean eating. I need to be more prepared, but I am going to give myself a break for this next week as I move out, tutor, meet everyone I know for some meal before I leave Delaware, and figure out plan NIITB.

I feel a lot better. I know that making a real change is slow and deliberate. I want to eventually arrive at my Happy Weight. I need to remember the wisdom of September. I don’t need to lose 20 lbs in two weeks and then give up when I’m frustrated after a day.

Will I be photographing and journaling everything? I don’t know.

Will I be blogging? A definite yes. I don’t have internet in my apartment, which also accounts for the lack of blogging, but I love it. It keeps me sane and connected. I read so many healthy living blogs and I love being part of the community.

Will I struggle? Yes. But I need to make some commandments for myself a la Healthy Ashley.

It only takes a day!

I woke up on Monday feeling, unsurprisingly, like crap. Eating dairy right before bed left my mouth feeling coated. My stomach felt woozy. I did not feel like a healthy eater at all. I wondered where that healthy young woman had disappeared to as I scrutinized my swollen stomach in the mirror. I had to do a bunch of errands, which included driving down to Dover (about an hour away) to get stuff taken care of for my visa application to live in Korea. After printing out some paperwork and grabbing some files, I wanted to get right on the road. Again, my lack of shopping was affecting my meal plans (hmmm Heather, lesson learned?). I decided to just pop back in to the Dunkin Donuts and grab something for the road. As I was pulling my car up to the traffic light near school, I realized I had a choice.

1. I could turn left for DD. I was already feeling pretty icky, so who cared about another icky meal. It wouldn’t hurt anyone, and bagels are delicious.

2. I could turn right and dash into the local grocery store. Maybe I could pick up a piece of fruit or something. But would it matter? I already felt like garbage.

Then, I remembered the tag line from another Heather’s blog: “Make one healthy decision. Then make another.”

I turned right!

It might not be the most healthy breakfast, but it was a start!

I spent the morning getting my criminal records. Going to the police station to get criminal records is a lot like going to the DMV–there are all types of people around. It’s also worse. Some of the people there weren’t getting their records checked, they were reregistering. People have to live their lives, and though I find that particular behavior despicable, it was especially awkward listening to one guy scream about how he should never have been convicted in the first place. Get me outta there!!

I spent about two hours there getting my records together. Normally it takes a few weeks, but they said if I waited around they could expedite my stuff. Thanks criminal records people! I would not want that job. Before I could get the Apostille (an official seal from the Secretary of State of Delaware) for my criminal record (You have to jump through some hoops to live in Korea!), I had to get it notarized. Not a problem except the woman on the phone at the State Department told me I had to be there by 2PM to get my apostille on the same day, and it was already 1:15. I drove around looking for a bank, stopping in a grocery store to ask for directions and someone directed me over toward the government buildings. If there was a bank there, I figured that would be a good spot. I could just dash over to the Corporations section after for an Apostille.

And dash I did. I parked my car and ran–in my non-supportive flip-flops–to the bank. Unfortunately, they only notarize stuff for their customers. No exceptions. Fantastic. They sent me over to the courts, but I couldn’t find the entrance and dashed into the Delaware Archives Library instead.

The guy at the front desk at the library was awesome. He couldn’t leave the desk unattended, so he was going to send me into the archives to ask for help, but seeing that I would have to fill out some paperwork to gain admittance, I asked if he could just make a phone call. He called around to find the notary, but she wasn’t at her desk. He left a message, and we both pondered how long I should wait if I had to get my apostille by 2pm.

The clocked ticked by for 5 minutes and the notary walked through the door! She took me up to her office, notarized my record, and sent me on my way. I live a charmed life.

It’s 1:40 and I dash again to the correct office, unknowingly running right past it and being directed to reverse my steps when I stop and ask for help.

At 1:47, I burst into the corporations office, and the woman there is no nice. Apparently, I didn’t actually have to be there at 2pm because I am getting an Apostille for personal reasons not for a corporation, but oh well. It made my day exciting.

I had a few hours to walk around Dover, and I decided to go down to the local German bakery. I was so excited to get some German bread. I had my camera pulled out and ready to snap pictures as I approached, but it was closed. 😦 I didn’t even take any pics–too sad. Silly Germans and their work/life balance and their days off.

Instead, I went to yet another grocery store for the salad bar!

Salad Bar Treat!

I enjoyed the salad with a tall soy latte from Starbucks. Mmmm…

In my meanderings, I also came into contact with some Delaware history. Dover was actually really cute. I’m so glad to discover it just as I’m leaving!

Where delegates decided to ratify the Constitution--making Delaware the first state!!

After a nice stroll and lunch, I got the call that my apostille was ready! Success!

Success! So official!

I decided to be sensible and use the bathroom before the drive home, and look who was lurking…

No thanks, buddy.

After a nice drive home, I enjoyed some unpictured-cause-they’re-boring fruit and cheese. Then I went for a nice 45 minute run that ended at (you guessed it!) the grocery store!

I needed some basic supplies and some pasta sauce from dinner.

I made an awesome dinner. I prepared gluten-free rice pasta (sounds wrong, but it’s pretty good) and ground turkey and zucchini sauce. I put my beautiful creation on a huge pile of spinach and garnished around and on top of it.

The presentation makes the meal.

The spinach and peppers mixed nicely with the pasta and gave me some delicious raw veggie power. Piling your entree on top of spinach is a sneaky and delicious way to integrate more greens.

Delicious!

I loved my dinner, and after debating with myself about night snacking, I finished with a treat. I presented it beautifully and I enjoyed it.

Delicious Chocolate oat cake and 1/2 banana

I learned something important today. It only takes a day. We can go off track and feel awful and sluggish, but we need to give ourselves that day to get back on track. We cannot let perfect be the enemy of good. More on that later! Have a great day!

Crap

When I eat like crap, I feel like crap and then I feel like crap about myself. It’s a vicious cycle. It’s partially borne of being judgmental and harsh on myself, but I also think there are real mental consequences to not feeling nourished. It’s hard to maintain a positive attitude without feeling truly healthy and whole.

Sometimes, I integrate a little crap into my diet in an OK way. Case in point, I enjoyed a delicious decaf mocha with Letters from Juliet.

I always need a treat at the movies!

Yummy Mexican Salad!

Oatcake Dessert

I have been snacking a lot at night. I am staying up later and just hanging out, and I think I associate that relaxed, tv-watching behavior with snacking. Luckily, I found this delicious microwave cookie recipe here and I made mine without sugar. I didn’t need the calories, and I wasn’t exactly hungry, but it was something to enjoy. I am partially glad to have given up the scale because who knows how this snacking is affecting my weight. I shouldn’t care, but I do, and I also don’t want to see lack of scale-ing as an invitation to eat whatever I want.

Sunday, things got ugly. I started off my day with a less-than-healthy meal and things got worse from there. I think a lot of my poor eating stemmed from competitiveness. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s somehow true. I love eating healthy, and I love being an example of healthy living for people. I love that many of my friends and family also eat healthy, work out, and aim to lead balanced lives. However, when the scale tips in a way that makes me feel like “everyone else” is super healthy and fit and in control… and I am not… it becomes difficult for me to pull myself out of an unhealthy eating pattern. Again, this is an example of where scales do not benefit any of us. I do not need to compare myself to other people or evaluate my exercise and eating against others–that’s a personal, internal scale that does not benefit me in any way. I need to take care of myself and eat in the best way for me, but sometimes I lose sight of that…

I began Sunday late. I had brunch from our local Dunkin Donuts with my friend Rosalba. I lived with her my first year at my school, and I used to stop and get breakfast from Dunkin Donuts all the time on my way home from the gym, so on the day of graduation it was nice to have a little closure. I really enjoyed my coffee with milk (no sugar–which was an old standby) and whole wheat bagel with lowfat cream cheese and good conversation with Rosalba.

Memories!!

After graduation, I had a veggie burger on a sandwich thin–unpictured because it was BO-ring. I spent the evening doing laundry, cleaning, starting to pack, contemplating my new life, and not going grocery shopping. One of the great things about cleanse-ing was how much I shopped and planned, and I really enjoyed that, but with traveling and all the end-of-the-year activities, I kept putting off shopping and planning, which led me next door to the Claymont Steak Shop.

Wrap!

Their food is pretty healthy, and I got a chicken and veggie wrap. Okay, that’s not quite it…

Wrap & friends

Look at that pudding. It’s actually kind of gross looking, but I saw it and I wanted a bite, and that’s exactly what I had… at first. I ate half the wrap and a bit of the pudding, and then put them off to the side because “I’m a healthy eater. I have willpower.” Okay, my willpower waned in the face of mindless tv, piles of laundry, and packing. And before I knew it, I had eaten the entire wrap and all the pudding and even procured a scoop of ice cream. YIKES. It was not what I needed at all. I just let myself turn off and GO. I felt pretty ashamed and like I didn’t want to write about it on my blog. I felt out of control and weak and gross, and my competitive side came out. “Everyone else is healthy! Why aren’t you!?!?!” One day of eating like an idiot and a lot of my work goes out the window, but hopefully only temporarily…

The shirt off my back

I think we are measured (and we measure ourselves) on all different scales. When I was single (and I know many of my single friends feel this way), I measured myself against the social standard that not having a boyfriend somehow signified a failure. When I was younger, I compared my grades. Now, I compare my vacations, salaries, apartments. I even compare my food consumption and exercise levels against other people. Sometimes, I get the feeling that many of us live like there is some large scale in the sky and we need to measure up to some preset standard.

Well, I threw away my actual scale, and I am not afraid to throw away another.

I spent two years in Germany after I graduated from college. I had a blast getting to know new people, a new language, a new culture. While I never realized how awesome it was while I was there, since returning home from Germany, I have felt that something was missing. I can’t put my finger on exactly what. Was my life too ordinary? Was I scared that I had somehow begun a slow trudge through my adult years? Was I simply unhappy?

I have had a great experience teaching high school English for the past three years, but lately I have noticed my enthusiasm waning. I no longer wanted to volunteer for extra responsibilities or attend every activity and event. I begrudged the amount of time I spent grading and running aroud and often compared myself to coworkers who seemed to do very little. At times, even the environment felt stifling, like people were resigned to making the best of an unsatisfactory situation rather than working toward change. Most disturbingly, I found myself doing just enough. As someone who has consistently worked well beyond expectations, the idea of doing just enough to get by was disturbing. I didn’t like leaping out of my seat the second the clock hit “closing time.” I didn’t the lack of passion and drive I was bringing to my lessons. I didn’t want to be average.

It was time for a change.

Soul Card Clue

Though I had been considering a change for a month, being in Idaho really have me time to ponder my decision. Making soul cards provided me an important clue–do you see the cartoon woman forcing open the restrictive columns? Could that be me?

I quit my job on Thursday. I don’t have another job yet, but I do have plans to spend next year in Korea teaching English. It’s a big leap, but in a lot of ways it’s a safe leap. My cousin/best friend has lived in Korea for the past four years, and she loves it. My boyfriend is supportive and encouraging; he understands my need to experience different cultures and travel. I have not felt an iota of regret. I am sure that at moments next year I will miss America and my current life, but I am ready for the challenge!

I have also recommitted myself to quasi-healthy eating. My brand of healthy eating. I was going to joing John on Velocity, but I didn’t like it hanging over my head. I kept pushing the start date back rather than going for it, which suggested to me that I need to keep finding my own way and discovering my own path. I don’t need to do a jump-start crazy program if even contemplating that program makes me crazy. So, slowly but surely I am going to continue refining my own healthy habits.

I started with a run this morning! A shirtless run! I never run shirtless because I have never had the body for it, but I finally felt comfortable. My body won’t make anyone go “WHOA!” in an impressed gasp or repulsed sneer. I am pretty much an “okay…. good for her” which is fine with me! I felt good and strong and back on my way!

Pretty in pink!

Feeling good!

I met some former students and a colleague for brunch/lunch. I had a veggie burger (1/2 the bun, all the burger) and some fries. I didn’t get a picture. And now I’m just hanging in Panera after a debatably healthy snack that my body was craaaaving. I’m thinking I’ll treat myself to a movie today and then relax tonight… a perfect way to ease back into healthy habits!

Oh dear Panera, I will miss you!

What Happens in Idaho…

Obviously, I’ve been away from my blog for awhile. Part of that was travel, part of that was hectic life stuff, and part of that was saying “eh, I can eat crap, I’ll write in my blog tomorrow…” like people who say “I’ll start my diet on Monday.” So, it’s finally “tomorrow” and time to wrap up my Idaho adventure…

A lovely breakfast of spaghetti squash!

Time to hike!

The littlest hiker--her mom is tough!!

Off we go!

A view from the top! Hey Sandpoint!

A little Larabar after our 3.5 miles up!

We did it!

<<our festivities that night are really staying in Idaho>>

then, the suuuuperlong trip home!

The rainy drive to the Spokane airport.

Chillin' in the Seattle airport.

Bathrooms are also Tornado Shelters in the Denver Airport.

Missed my train in Baltimore & got a quick sleep here...

Complimentary breakfast!

Before.

After.

Finally back in Wilmington! 6:45AMAnother coffee to make it through the day! (time to detox...)

The Spa @ Sandpoint

Even though I am a guest at someone’s house this week, I feel like I am staying in a spa! We have been eating such delicious things that I keep referring to my location as “The Spa at Sandpoint.” Apparently, this town already has a spa, but I can’t imagine that it holds a candle to Ginna’s house.

I almost forgot it was Memorial Day despite my days off because of food has gone way beyond the typical Memorial Day hot dogs and hamburgers.

On Sunday night, we recharged from our 5k adventure with an amazing meal of brown rice with seaweed, baked tofu with soy sauce and sesame seeds, and roasted veggies!

The tofu and veggies are ready for the oven!

The perfect side dish.

I also enjoyed some organic raspberry gel and some more trail mix. It was a fairly munchy day, which would only continue on Monday! I wonder if all this healthy food is driving me to munch more. I think it’s probably the combination of being in someone else’s house and therefore having less control over what I eat and not having a routine. It will be interesting to see how Velocity goes. John has already started it, but I am going to wait until I get home. The first week isn’t too different; we’re just supposed to cut out caloric drinks (not a problem except for my recent coffee spree). After the first week I have to eat a lot of veggies and no fruit 😦 Okay, there are other aspects to the program, but I’m not going to worry about it now.

Monday’s food was amazing.

I got up early. It’s partially still being “set” to East Coast time and partially my personality. I am an early bird which is only reinforced by getting up at the crack of dawn during the school year. It’s difficult for me to sleep in. Boo! Does anyone else have this problem?

I decided to make some coffee. When I took a month off coffee for my cleanse, it wasn’t so much the coffee I missed but the ritual. There’s something special about savoring that perfect cup!

there is nothing like the smell of coffee!

Boiling the water for the french press

The supplies. Yes, I enjoy artificial creamer on vacation!

The finished product. Paired with a book and a slice of vollkornbrot with almond butter!

...and a cuddling cat!

Brunch came later. We enjoyed more coffee (I think I started to get the shakes), a spinach omelette, and mochi with almond butter and blueberries. Mochi is rice pounded to make a dough, and we ate it in these little cakes. It was dense and sweet and delicious!

The perfect "spa" breakfast!

We spent the rest of the day relaxing, and we decided to make Soul Cards. If you’ve ever heard of a dream board, Soul Cards are similar. You flip through magazines and tear out all the pictures that mean something to you. Then, you put them together and interpret them.

I have been thinking a lot lately about some big changes and choices, so it was fun and interesting for me to make Soul Cards and see what they said. I am not going to share all that stuff at the moment, but I probably will some day.

Spa snacks for soul cards and self growth!

My images--before dividing into cards and interpreting.

Dinner was another fantastic affair. Ammi made spaghetti squash, which was something I have been wanting to try anyway, and we paired it with a fantastic raw soup and some wine!

A little recovery after all the soul baring!

An avocado-based raw soup! Recipe coming later (shocking, I know).

Spaghetti squash with meat sauce. I have a feeling this is going to become a regular dish in my house.

Late night munchies...

I am in such a strange mood. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s because I’m out of my element. Maybe it’s because I don’t know what my element is. Maybe I just need some space or a huuuuge piece of chocolate cake. I just feel “off.” I am not excited about Velocity; I feel a bit stressed about it. I don’t feel like being supportive of anyone right now. I just kind of want to curl up with a book and a bag of chocolate.

Well, I’m going to enjoy a book and maybe some coffee and try to sit with these feelings and flesh them out. Maybe vacations aren’t the time to think deep thoughts. Maybe my soul is just a little tired after yesterday…

Some New Numbers

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! I am thoroughly enjoying my relaxing weekend in Northern Idaho. It’s gorgeous Pacific Northwest weather–nice and drizzly! It’s a bit colder than we all would like (low 60s) but I am enjoying it before returning to the suffocatingly humid East Coast.

This weekend has been full of delicious healthy and not-so-healthy treats–my kind of weekend!

Saturday opened with a Zumba class. I have wanted to try Zumba for a long time, and I finally had the chance to go with Ammi’s friend Ginna. I liked and disliked it. It was awesome to move around in different ways, and I love to dance. I have really tight hips, so it was good to open them up and engage in exercise that demands different types of flexibility. However, I am pretty used to intense exercise–running, old school calisthenics, kickboxing, weights, so this workout wasn’t quite the intensity I would have liked, but I had fun trying to loosen my stiff little body up!

Back at home, we had a delicious Liver Cleanse drink. On my cleanse, I had a special drink I had to drink, which my cleanse buddy lovingly referred to as the Shrek Drink. It consisted of a plethora of ingredients–from tomato juice to garlic to cilantro–that I never was able to blend in a satisfying way. Part of the problem was that my blender was on its last legs, so maybe it just never got blended enough. Anyway, we kicked off our cleanse with 5-days of the Shrek Drink, and I was happy to see those five days end.

 The liver cleanse that Ginna makes includes some similar ingredients but it has a refreshing citrus taste.

She blends 1 grapefruit, a lemon, garlic, and cayenne into a delicious and refreshing drink!

My Liver Says Thanks!

I followed up the liver cleanse (and of course the corresponding coffee) with some delicious Vollkornbrot. This is a dense German bread full of seeds and deliciousness. It’s pictured with Hummus but I chucked that back and just enjoyed the bread!

Ich liebe deutsches brot!

Ammi and I had a perfect afternoon pampering ourselves. I think it’s so important to nourish our bodies on so many levels, so we decided to go to the spa and get pedicures! We spent some time in the steam room and then sipped Soy Lattes while gazing out at the beautiful lake. My toes are a deep red with a sprinkling of “fairy dust.” I also enjoyed a teeny hunk of some bread Ammi’s mom made. She has Celiac’s disease, so she created a delicious gluten-free, sugar-free apple bread using Xylitol as a sugar substitute. I had never tried Xylitol before, but the bread was delicious!

When Ammi and I returned to Ginna’s house, she had prepared a fantastic Morroccan Chicken soup! Since everyone is currently napping, I promise that recipes for all these fabulous soups and cleanses will come soon!

So delicious!

We feasted on soup and a fantastic spinach salad with homemade nut dressing! Do I ever have to leave Ginna’s house? I feel like I’m at a spa!

Ensalada

We decided to go see Sex and the City to relax before the big 5k! Of course, we three fabulous women knew that we could only enjoy the four fabulous women of SATC more with a cocktail. Since we’re all fairly health conscious, we made a fantastic healthy cocktail (if there is such a thing).

We blended frozen coffee, coconut milk, chocolate vodka, and agave chocolate syrup in the Magic Bullet and then poured them into perfectly portable jars! Ginna has so many more blog-beautiful dishes than I do!

Alcohol + chocolate...

Blend it up!

Slide it into the purse...

Enjoy with popcorn!

Now, I know that movie popcorn is not the most low-cal treat, but what’s a movie without it! I didn’t add butter and savored every piece in this small bag. Mmmm…. I think life is meant to be enjoyed, and if that means the occasional cocktail and movie popcorn will keep me from the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, then so be it.

I had a bit of a “freak out” moment when a reader of this blog mentioned that I might want to be careful of the calories I am consuming. Obviously, this past week I went out a fair bit and then came on vacation, but I no longer want to be obsessed with numbers. The clear intention of this blog is to feel healthy and full without achieving some arbitrary number. I want to feel strong and nourished. I want to feed my body food it craves rather than worrying about how many calories are in such food. If I find myself going off the deep end, of course I will pause and reevaluate, but for now, I think I am on a healthy path.

That being said, there are two new numbers that I encountered today that I am going to focus on for a little while.

Today, Ammi, Ginna, and I ran the Coeur d’Alene 5k. The Coeur d’Alene Marathon and Half Marathon were held today, and we decided that we wanted to be part of the festivities! Ammi and I met through a running board back when we were both living in Germany, so part of today’s run was “for old times sake.” We woke up at 5AM and guzzled coffee. (I think I’m back on coffee. Oh well, I love it!) We also had bananas, which I dipped into almond butter. Delicious! We bundled up and got in the car for the trek to Coeur d’Alene, about an hour away. I loved looking at the scenery on our way up. Idaho is gorgeous!

Up early and getting pumped!

All bundled up!

I actually ended up adding more layers when I got to the race because it was chilly. Maybe it was that extra layer that slowed me down! (more on that later) I bundled up in my high school long sleeve tee from 2001! I wore huge clothes back in high school because I was so uncomfortable with my body. I have come a long way!

As I said, Ammi and I met in Germany in 2005/2006. Here we are at the Limeslauf Half-Marathon in 2006. I ran the half and Ammi ran the 10k. It was only two weeks after we ran the Hamburg Marathon, and she was coming off a cold. I stupidly ran the Half-Marathon, which was a trail run. It was pretty abandoned out there and the Germans were serving carbonated water, which made me sick. I nearly panicked. Luckily, I had a great friend meet me near the finish to pace me in!

Ammi helps me to the finish

Ammi and Heather in May 2006

Heather and Ammi in May 2010

Sadly, under all my layers I am wearing the same blue top! Luckily we went shopping after our 5k Celebratory breakfast. I enjoyed a “Cautious” Omelette with eggs whites, steamed veggies, light jack cheese, and salsa accompanied by potatoes (I had to! I’m in Idaho!) and bread–neither of which I came close to finishing. It’s been kind of a munchy day for me. After our shopping trip, I had some trail mix, leftover Moroccan Chicken Soup and am currently crunching on some pretzels as a type. We all have days like that I guess, but I’m setting another goal for myself not to eat dinner until I am truly hungry!

Egg Whites came into my life with John. Thanks babe!

I entitled this entry “Some New Numbers” because as we all know, that one BIG number I am trying to avoid; however, today I encountered some new numbers that I think I can work with.

I fully admit that I have not been running very much this year. In fact, I did my “Every Odd Day in May” to get ready for this trip! (I have switched around the days a little being here. No biggie.) But, I still find it astonishing that no matter how much or little I run or how much or little I weigh, I cannot crack one big barrier.

I cannot get below 24:20 in a 5k! I set that PR in 2005 at the end of my senior year in college. For the past five years, I have hovered right around that number no matter how much or little I weighed or how much or little I had been running.

Case in point, I ran the “Buffalo Stampede” 5k in Delaware in July 2008. It was a steamy day, and I was much heavier than I am now and hadn’t been running consistently.

My time? 24:28.

Today’s race was perfectly cool though a little bit windy. I am at a much healthier weight though haven’t been running very much.

My time? 24:27.

Seriously!! I also think that strange mile markers contributed to my time today. The 2-mile marker was off, meaning the last “mile” was probably closer to 1.5 miles, making it harder to pace. I think my time is respectable, and I felt good today. I also know that I actually need to train to improve, so I am going to. I am going to crack 24:20 by the end of the summer! Now to find a race!

The other number that I came into contact with today is my body fat percentage. Of course, I have left the scale behind, but I thought that it might be nice to know my body fat percentage and understand my body composition, especially since John and I are starting Velocity soon. It will be nice to have a clear measurement of progress. Though I don’t want to obsess about any numbers associated with my body, knowing my body composition actually makes me feel informed. (I also can’t check it everyday, so it doesn’t lend itself to obsessing the same way scale weight does.) After the race, I got my body composition analyzed. I made a big fuss of not seeing my weight during the process, and Ginna found that interesting. She said I should blog about my reluctance to know my weight. Obviously, she had seen me taking pictures of my meals and I had told her I was keeping a food blog, but then I had to explain the premise of the blog. I didn’t want a fantastic weekend and a strong race overshadowed by some number. I know I need to get to a place where that number doesn’t matter, but I’m not there yet.

My body composition is as follows: 74.4% lean mass and 25.6% fat. Being 24 or below would put me in the Optimum range, so my other goal for the summer is to crack 24 in the body fat percentage category. (Wow, that number 24 obviously has some power for me today!) Changing my body composition isn’t about obsessive weight loss but rather working out and challenging my body. I am ready for the challenge. I am looking forward to an awesome summer.

…and 24, it’s on!

Welcome to…

Idaho!

sadly, I have yet to try their famous potatoes, but I have had some good eats!

The trip was long but fun. I departed from the Wilmington Train Station for BWI on the Acela. It was a smooth and quiet trip and almost as nice as the ICE in Germany. My goal for the afternoon was not to eat until I felt actual hunger, and by the time I arrived at the airport around 5PM I was huuungry. Whenever I am on a healthy eating kick, I try to limit my snacks, which ends up backfiring. So I decided to find something healthy but real to eat. I wanted something that would fill me up and taste okay, and I eventually found a wrap.

That's a wrap!

I enjoyed about 3/4 of this wrap and then meandered around the stores in the airport debating about whether or not to buy myself a treat. I opted not to as I knew I was just tired not hungry. It was the last day of school, and I had gotten up early to run, so I really needed a nap not a treat, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying some chai on my layover in Denver.

Chai with a view!

By the time I arrived in Spokane, WA, I was weirdly wired and hungry, but luckily my friend Ammi is a super-healthy and prepared eater, so she tossed me an apple as we got into the car and made our way to her hometown in Idaho!

My first day here was relaxing, hanging with Ammi and her daughter and touring around Sandpoint, which is such a pretty, quirky place. The internet connection is a little slow here, so I am only going to upload the highlights.

The day began with Ammi’s perfect coffee and a good book. I bought myself this book instead of candy yesterday. I have been trying to turn to “comfort reads” instead of “comfort food,” and though normally that consists of old favorites like Anne of Green Gables, maybe this was a “food treat.” I am really enjoying The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo because it offers a neat perspective on Sweden, and as someone who has lived abroad and gotten to know another country pretty intimately, it’s nice to have a view into a fairly unknown place.

The best part of waking up...

Ammi is a coffee mastermind. I have so many great memories of hanging with her in Germany, drinking coffee blended perfectly with soy milk and honey, and getting ready to go for a run. Unfortunately, she’s got a pretty nasty cold right now, but hopefully we’ll still get in some of our traditional physical activities. We followed up coffee with a cleanse-drink made by her friend Ginna that included grapefruit juice, garlic, and cayenne pepper (and some other secret ingredients), some Fennel, Flax, and Fenugreek tea, and I split a banana with Ammi’s daughter–light and perfect.

We meandered downtown for lunch with Ammi’s mom and business partner. They are midwives, and it was so interesting to hear about their jobs and their take on health. I devoured my steak salad with gorgonzola and raspberry vinaigrette. It was the perfect lunch! I skipped the bread because it just didn’t seem that appetizing to me. If I’m going to have bread, it needs to be perfect.

mmm...delicious!

We snacked on grapes as Ammi prepared a gourmet meal. I have tons of great pictures, but I’ll share my favorite dish. We savored chicken roasted with oranges and rosemary, a yummy Shiraz from nearby Washington, some beets, strawberries, and this unbelievable soup. Recipe coming tomorrow…

If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, it might be this!

DORA?

Delayed onset running appetite?

Just like we get DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) the day after a tough weights workout, I wonder if there is DORA for running. I got up and ran 8 miles this morning to celebrate the last day of school. I certainly had a solid breakfast after my run, but I haven’t really been hungry today. I’ve nibbled on some snacky stuff but not eaten a real meal. It could also be due to the extreme high temperatures in school. I’m so glad the east coast didn’t get hot until this week; we would have been miserable in May!

guzzling the water after this morning’s run. The eyebrows look good, huh?

I am so proud of my fun run this morning. I didn’t push myself for speed; I just wanted to enjoy the distance and solitude in the morning. I run without my glasses, so it can be kind of exciting. Every stick turns into a rattlesnake and every bush turns into a wild dog.

Just your basic Green Monster with a strawberry peeking out for good measure.

Adding the toppings! Not quite like an ice cream sundae, but I do love my Chia seeds and wheat grass.

The thought of this GloBar got me through the workout. I love them, and I especially love that they are made by a woman who is about my age who had a dream and started her own business. So inspiring!

and some nuts to munch on in the library. I enjoyed some of these last night as a “treat” too.

One of my coworkers made these sweet potatoe brownies for her class. They read Things Fall Apart and apparently the sweet potato is a major aspect of the novel. (I’ve never read it.) I wanted to try her creation, but I just wanted a taste–it was good and sweet. All of my classes had little parties today as we reviewed. I manage to successfully avoid most of the garbage (not a judgment here, I just know how I feel after eating that stuff) but I did taste some chips and homemade salsa and a toffee that one of my girls brought in because she had written about it in an essay earlier in the year. Pretty good stuff! Storebought cupcakes and cookies-not worth it.

a light lunch of some cukes and hummus. Maybe all the snacking and the big breakfast just did me in…

After all my classes, I enjoyed some Nan and spreads that one of my colleagues brought in.

and berries for dessert.

But really, I’m not hungry, so it’s time to stop. I must have filled myself up with that amazing Green Monster. Often, I get these urges to eat even when I don’t have real hunger, so my goal for this afternoon is to not eat again until my body is actually asking for it. That might seem like a ridiculous goal to many people, but for me it’s important. I am kind of hoping that hunger will strike in the airport so I can get a Decaf Soy Latte…

The trip is going to be fun! It’s a train and two planes to visit Ammi, but I am so pumped to see her! Catch ya on the west coast!